I passed violet flowers in Shaw Park three days ago
They reminded me how everything alive is made to grow
My internal seasons are aligning with the natural year
And springtime is a sign there isn’t much I have to fear

I hardly ever spend time down by the Gateway Arch
But I see it from the train when I travel home in March
I’ve been away so long, novelties are now traditions
Try to take it up with Time, but I’m told he doesn’t listen

My joy has been more solemn lately
But it’s more deserved
Than the joy I had innately
Before enduring hurt
My hope has been a little fragile
Sometimes I feel naive
Though I’m injured from this battle
I’ve got the strength to leave

My dad and I have bonded
Over pain we wish would go away
And when I start to feel despondent
He says take it day by day
Camille says I hate to see you hurt
It’s been over a year
I say Your presence and words
Make it all feel less severe

A Northern man at heart, wintertime is where I’m most at home
Fall is a close second, I feel autumn winds within my bones
Never knew I needed spring, until I saw its healing power
Now I dream of summer nights, I’ve been counting down the hours

Dreaming of riding a bike, surrendering to my momentum
Dreaming of taking a hike, walking off woes ’til I forget them
Dreaming of an evening drive, windows down, pain in the rearview
Dreaming of living my life, with no restrictions to adhere to

Walking through Chicago
And it’s still snowing
Winter was awhile ago
But the cold’s ongoing
Hard not to dream of warmth
And sunny days ahead
I ought to leave the North
Live by the sea instead

Somewhere out of reach
Pleasant tastes and smells
I’m picturing the beach
Stepping over shells
Or maybe on a beautiful
Mountaintop or hill
With a sunlit studio
Everything is still

All this to say, I’m dreaming
Of finding some serenity
Not devoid of meaning
But a little less intensity
And a bit more focus
On the simple pleasures
I’m dreaming of the slowness
And more forgiving weather 

But the pitiless part
Of all weather and seasons
Is how they depart
Without giving a reason
Though summer is kind
I can count on it leaving
But it’s all by design
And so I’ll keep on dreaming

2 thoughts on “Dreaming

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